Letter to a friend (?)

Yes, this is a REAL note penned to a REAL friend ---

Dude,

Why should I help you? You are unreliable, inconsiderate and nombrilistic. Every attempt to see you taxes my tolerance. Your puerile habits of chronic tardiness, sneering contempt and name dropping are what I suffer to engage in increasingly rare conversations filled with occasional flashes of brilliance -- twinged, if I'm
lucky, with humanity.

I'm not mad -- just amused.

To cut to the chase, what favor have you ever done me? Or, rather, how could I ever rely on YOU to RETURN a favor? You are so unreliable, narcissistic and inconsiderate that I can't imagine that ever happening.

Love,
Joanne
Twitter @joanneooi
www.hongkongcan.org
www.ooibotos.com

(Sent by Blackberry, so please forgive infelicities of style or grammar.)